Are you tired of your balls constantly finding their way into sandy pits like they’re on vacation in the Bahamas? Introducing Bunker Repellent, the revolutionary spray designed for golfers who are sick of bunkers treating their balls like long-lost friends. Just one quick spritz and poof!—your balls will avoid bunkers like your in-laws avoid offering to pay the bill.

Scientifically unproven and questionably legal in tournament play, Bunker Repellent uses patented “Wishful Thinking Technology” to send psychic vibes to your golf balls, gently encouraging them to stay the heck away from sand traps, cacti, and anything that looks remotely like trouble. It’s like a restraining order for hazards.